When to sleep with him? It seems like more and more women are having the same question, but are not willing to ask up. Well trust me, you are being wise by asking that.
Last week, I’ve got a new client. Her name was Iris. It took a lot of courage for her to share her story with me, but in short, it is like this:
“So it’s been a few weeks since I started dating this guy. Everything is good so far. We were close to sex like so many times, but we ended up not having “that”. Still, I can sense that it’s just a matter of time. The thing is most of the guys I’ve dated before all seemed to lose their interest after we had sex. Can you like, give me a clue? Let me know when to sleep with him.”
And she is not the only one. In fact, more and more women are coming to ask me about this problem. I actually feel glad that they do. It means more and more of them are aware of the flow of feelings that sex can bring. At the beginning of a relationship, it is not just a form of pleasure. It can be a benchmark. It decides whether the next step of your relationship will turn out to be a wonderful thing or a disaster.
Unfortunately, this not-so-wonderful case keeps on repeating. This young woman is in love with a guy. Not only does she expect physical intimacy, but also emotional intimacy as well. She does hope that making love will take this relationship to a new level. Nevertheless, she never gets what she desires.
Why is that?
You will be surprised to hear the reason. Because guys don’t know.
Please do remember that the way their brains work is REALLY different from how women’s brains work. Unless you make it clear to him what you expect, what are your terms and why you want to have sex, he won’t care to give you what you want.
In this article, I’m gonna give you a checklist of things that show you are ready for sex. This will give you an overview of all the important points you need to be aware of. This guide will save you from all the painful experiences you might have and give a great boost to your relationship.
Let’s go through everything, shall we?
1. When to have sex with him? When the attraction you have toward him is way too strong
This is obvious. You can’t enjoy sex if you just do it because you feel guilty. If he forces you to have sex? Even worse. Sex is only great when you are physically and emotionally attracted to the guy.
Don’t let your mind trick you into believing that this must be the appropriate time for sex. There is no such thing called “appropriate time” when it comes to this matter. What matters first is whether you want to or not. Keep that in mind,
2. You are not going to have sex to please him, aren’t you?
So let’s say you are falling for this guy head-over-heel. You are willing to do whatever it takes to make him happy, and you hope to use sex to win his heart.
I’d just say, this is the worst situation to have sex with someone.
Firstly, if you think you can win him over with sex, you are coming off as needy and desperate. Instead of “appreciate” your actions, he will just see you as an easy target. Secondly, that man is not your life savior. Trust me, you don’t need anyone to the point that you have to sacrifice anything for him. You only need to improve yourself to have a better relationship. Don’t ever sleep with any man just to get his approval. It is just plain silly.
3. Don’t sleep with him if he doesn’t have any emotion toward you
While the meaning of sex nowadays is not as significant as before, it is still a way for two people to “get to know each other”. If you sleep with him too soon, it will kill his curiosity to know more about you, and therefore he will lose his interest. Provided that you don’t want a serious relationship and just want to keep him there for sex, then okay, it’s not a problem. But if you think about the long run, sleeping with him too soon shall just make him think that you are an easy one. It doesn’t prove that you are different from the other girls he could easily take to bed.
It doesn’t mean though, that he has to fall deeply in love with you. But it does take a strong emotional connection between you two. Check our article on how to create a deep connection with your boyfriend here.
4. When to sleep with him? When the sexual tension is high enough!
Did you two get close to it last time? Are you hungry enough to take the next step? Do you actually desire him? Since he’s a new guy, it might take a while to know whether you two are really compatible.
If you find it awkward while making out, sex probably isn’t that good as well.
Are you sure that you trust your partner?
This is obvious. But sometimes women feel this invisible pressure to have sex that they forget to pay attention to this part.
Did your partner show signs of being a kind and respectful man? Is he a man of words? Most importantly, did he push you to have sex with him? These are some very important factors to consider.
Above are the checklist to know when to sleep with him. Make sure that you got a yes for every part, and you wouldn’t have to worry about him being all cold and distant after sex.
Discover what really turns him on HERE. There is something a man desire more than love, more than money, and even more than sex… Once you get a hold on this secret, you will be able to win his complete devotion.