One of the most painful, devastating things that can happen to your marriage is infidelity. Many people asked us the same question: Does successful marriage even exist after one person cheated on another? Hopeless as it sounds, it doesn’t really have to be the end of your relationship. If you don’t believe it, check out the content below. Our discussion on how to have a happy marriage after an affair will surely surprise you.
Most couples would assume that infidelity means the dead end for a relationship. In fact, according to psychological therapists, trust can be restored and your marriage can be healed. This, of course, requires a lot of commitment and motivation. It might take months or years of hard work, but yes, it is possible.
The first thing you need to do is taking a deep breath and ask yourself whether or not you truly want to save this marriage. It doesn’t matter you are the one who had an affair or the one who was being cheated on. Instead, it is all about how much you are willing to do to heal the relationship. In case you are sure about that, then we will walk along with you on this bumpy road. With this guide on how to have a happy marriage even after infidelity, we will try our best to help you restore the strong bond between you and your spouse.
Ready to go with us?
How to have a happy marriage after an affair? If you are the one who cheated…
There should be atonement:
If you want to redeem the marriage, then it is crucial for you to feel the deep regret over and over again. Express your feeling of guilt to your partner. He or she must have gone through pain, anger, and disappointment beyond belief, so a short “I’m sorry” is not enough. Be sure to make a serious and sincere apology. While it is totally not enough to appease your spouse, the situation will be much worse without it.
Also, don’t try to blame your spouse instead of yourself. It’s time to take full responsibility and accept all the blame. Remember that you will be insulted and attacked often – try to tolerate that, at least for the first few weeks. You will be able to feel the pain that lies beneath the words.
Find out the reason why you cheated:
One thing for sure, you don’t do this to counter your spouse. Instead, discovering the root of your affair will help you avoid making the same mistakes in the future. There will be a time when both of you will need to sit down and discuss with each other about this, but only after your other half is ready.
Cut off the connection with your lover IMMEDIATELY:
This is just one of the steps to gain your spouse’s trust again. If possible, do it when he or she is present. Let your lover know that it is your own choice to cut off all connections with him/her instead of making it sounds like you have no other choice because your partner is there.
You might have had feelings with that person after the infidelity, but it is okay and totally understandable. It is not a sign that your heart is no longer with your spouse. Don’t let this feeling lure you into seeking comfort from your lover when your spouse’s negative feeling is way too strong. Instead, if you truly wanna save your marriage, you can share how you feel with a counselor.
No matter what it takes, show empathy to your spouse:
This factor can decide whether your marriage can be saved or not. Your partner might not be able to forgive you just yet. You have to understand that it takes time as he/she has gone through pain and anger beyond belief. Just be there for your spouse and let him or her recover. Moreover, assure that you will always be there to provide support.
Learn to be honest about everything to gain back your partner’s trust:
Sometimes you can think that hiding things from your partner is a way to prevent him or her from getting hurt. Nevertheless, this is one deadly mistake.
Our advice for you now is, be an open book. You will receive countless questions, make sure to answer all of them honestly. Be willing to show your spouse everything he/she wants you to, including phone records, text messages, and even your social media account. While this might seem harsh, this need to be done in order to slowly earn trust again.
If it was your partner who cheated on you…
Cheap forgiveness is not applicable:
Even if you desperately want to save your marriage, don’t forgive too easily. Your pain must be taken care of in order for you to trust again. Be straightforward about how the infidelity affected you, and forgive only when you are ready to let go of all your sadness.
However, it is best to avoid verbal abuse. No one can stand being insulted forever, even if he or she is willing to take the blame for the affair. Through time, your partner will eventually resent and react negatively. Therefore if you wanna save your marriage, after a while you’d better let it go.
It might be tempted to leave:
We understand how much you think about getting out of this. However, if your partner really regrets and you still have hope in retrieving the relationship, then trying to work it out together is a better choice.
Find support:
You will feel isolated along the way. My dear, you don’t have to go through everything alone. Seeking help from family and friends is always the best choice. You can share your feelings with them and there is nothing wrong with that. This will also help you to calm down when you try to work things through with your partner. Finding a marriage counselor is also an option.
Share the responsibility:
When you feel better, try to find out the reason why your partner cheated together with him or her. Your spouse is wrong and this is for sure, but seeing how your behavior led to the failure of this relationship is also important in preventing this from happening again.
Our how to have a happy marriage after an affair guide works best when both people still wish to redeem the relationship and therefore join hand to be open and honest with each other. That way, you two can find out what actually happened that led to the infidelity and work out the path to the future.
Discover the SECRET to transform your relationship and even heal after an affair, please check out this article, you will find something incredibly useful, or check out this free presentation
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