After spending time talking to couples, there is something we have noticed recently: Most of them didn’t see the signs of collapse at the beginning stage of a crisis. They often take complains lightly, and not until their spouses announced the decision did they realize that things were falling apart.
At this point, many people were left clueless and didn’t know how to handle the situation. They assumed that this was the death penalty for the marriage and there was nothing they could do to stop it. Unfortunately, by thinking that way, they continued making a bigger mistake.
When you are sharing the same case, do keep in mind that this is not the end, but instead the critical moment for you to do something and save your marriage before it is too late. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to stop your relationship from breaking to pieces? If your answer is yes, this step-by-step guide on how to avoid divorce and save your marriage is specialized for you. You will find here 7 simple steps to help you control the situation. Again, this is a critical moment for you to act, so read on and don’t miss out a single word.
HOW TO AVOID DIVORCE WITH 7 SIMPLE STEPS?
1. Be ready to act
Before planning on how to avoid divorce, you must make up your mind. You might be panic right now, but you have to override your fear for the time being and start making an action plan with a calm mind.
2. Know that playing the victim is not an option
When your spouse declared that he or she wanted to divorce, was “How can you do this to me?” the first thing came up in your mind? The urge to blame your partner can be really, really strong. Nevertheless, we would like you to know that it does nothing in helping you gain back the affection. Even if your spouse chooses to stay with you, everything you have is a depressed spouse who feels like he/she is forced to be there again. Doesn’t sound so great, right?
Instead of that, there is a better strategy: Try to make your partner want to stay with you on their own. Not something “too good to be true”, you can totally create the change just by some small actions. Even when you are on the edge of divorce, there must still be positive aspects of yourself, the things that made your partner fell for you at the beginning. Don’t let the panic make you forget about those qualities. Find a way to show and remind your partner about the good things you can bring to a marriage. Let your action prove that you are good to be with instead of words and you will see positive changes
3. Find a common goal for you and your partner
It is a useful step for both of you to be willing to work and save the marriage. You might discuss with your partner about the things you two can commit together in order to improve the marital life, including matters like who will work and who will take care of your children.
4. Pay attention to your appearance
Many people stop taking care of their look after getting married. I’d say that it is a huge mistake. When you are on the verge of divorce, your appearance plays an important role in deciding whether you can avoid the divorce or not.
Start learning from those attractive people you see on the street or on TV shows. Choose your outfits carefully, be sure to choose clothes that emphasize your best features. Do something new with your hairstyle. Go to the gym if you need to lose weight. Find out your own style that makes you look most awesome. Appearance is a sharp weapon.
5. Take responsibility for hurting your partner
This is an important step of the guide on how to avoid divorce. You can work with your partner to list out all the moments you made him or her upset, or simply recall on your own. Create a list for yourself as well.
The next thing to do is sit down with your spouse and check the list together, carefully, one by one. Look for the reasons of all the crises, whether it was your misunderstanding or misperception. Again, it is not the time to blame your spouse. The aim is to find out what you did that lead to the failure of this marriage. Sincerely apologize for your mistake, and find out the solution to prevent the same thing to happen in the future.
After all, people improve after making mistakes. Since your marriage is on the rocks, it is time for you to start learning from what you have done wrong.
6. Have faith in yourself
The fact that your partner wants to leave might has a great impact on you. You might start blaming yourself, thinking that you are not good enough, or your personality is just not suitable to be in a marriage. This has to stop. Remember that you deserve to be loved, and you can do just anything to stop your marriage from falling apart.
7. Learn from experts to know the keys to a happy marriage
Before you get married, probably no one taught you how to be a good spouse. People usually don’t realize that it takes a lot of work to maintain a happy marriage until they have to face obstacles.
Nevertheless, it is never too late to learn. Visiting marriage counselors and let them guide you can be an option, but choose a reliable one and make sure to follow the whole process. Online programs can help you, as their prices are much more affordable and you can save your time. If you choose wisely, it is totally possible to find a program that can be just as detailed as receiving advise directly from experts. Check out the list of top books on saving your marriage Here and you may find the one you need.
How to avoid divorce is always a challenging question. We sincerely hope that this step by step guide can be your companion in trying to find back the happiness within your family. It is totally possible for you to change the situation as long as you are trying, so don’t lose hope.