One of the most common questions we received this week is: Can a marriage be saved after separation? No matter what causes the separation, for both partners, it is still an uneasy period of time. You might be overwhelmed with anxiety, isolation, bitterness, and regret. Nevertheless, it doesn’t have to be the death sentence for your marriage.
Yes, you are reading it right. A separation is not always the last stage before a divorce. According to research, many couples have taken splitting as a wake-up call to find out the things they lost, just to rebuild a healthier marital life. That being said, when you consider it an opportunity to reflect on your previous relationship and act the right way, there lies hope.
If you are truly committed to saving your marriage even after separation, you probably have your own plan already. Nevertheless, there are some core factors that will turn splitting into a remedy to cure the relationship. That’s what we would like to show you today. Based on them, you can build the most effective plan to mend the marriage for yourself.
Can A Marriage Be Saved After Separation? 6 things you should do
In other words, follow the rules you two have set before the separation. Don’t try to communicate more or less than the agreements, but still show support to your spouse. Respect his or her space. If solitude is what your spouse ask for, all you have to do is give it. Your spouse needs sympathy? Help them get it.
If you are the one who is trying to prevent your spouse from leaving, you should know that letting your emotion lead is never a good idea. Instead, things will most likely end up being a disaster. An unthoughtful word will just widen the gap between you two. Threatening is just as useless.
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Therefore, it is better to be patient. Your spouse will eventually realize the good and bad sides of splitting, and might even miss the secured feeling of being home.
The connection is the first important factor if you want to save your marriage after a separation. Do you know that the most troublesome part of marital separation is that you two will slowly get used to living apart? After a while, your spouse (and maybe even you, too) can be tricked that splitting means equal happiness. You two might forget to reconsider the options, instead just give up.
Therefore, it is crucial to maintaining the bond. When you are ready, contact your spouse and ask for a friendly talk. Things won’t be that easy, so don’t expect it to be normal at the first few times. You can try to be a friend to your spouse in order for you two to get back together again.
Setting goals during separation will remind you that you need to work in order to retrieve this relationship. You can look for the problem that led to separation and find a way to fix it. Suggesting a deadline with your spouse is also a good idea. Explain to him/her that you will change or work out a solution until the time you have promised. It is much more comfortable for both of you as you know you shall have to wait until well, and there is nothing to be rushed.
No matter how good your plan is, nothing will change if you don’t work for it. You can either work on yourself or work on the marriage problems, and there are things that only you can deal with, even when you seek help from counselors.
It could be anything you might think of: From financial management to the way you raise the kids, from how to control your anger to changing a bad habit. You can’t improve the marriage life if you don’t try to be a better partner, that’s one thing for sure. When you have become a better version of yourself, you will be confident to offer your other half much more.
That being said, you have to work and change things in a positive way. If you don’t put in any effort, then there is only one end.
Forgiveness is important, not only during separation but also in the future when you two actually get back together. This is something both of you need to commit. After all, you two can’t be happy with each other without being able to let go of all the mistakes in the past.
Therefore, it is better to forgive and forget. After all the pain you two have gone through, this might be challenging. Nevertheless, it is something you must do in order to create a whole new life and relationship together. Even when you and your spouse have successfully healed the marriage, keep in mind that you should never bring back the past to attack him or her. Only that way can help you two enjoy a harmony life with each other and keep it last for a lifetime.
Separation is an extremely sensitive and critical time. Nevertheless, to answer the question “can a marriage be saved after a separation?”, we would still say yes, it can be saved. As long as you keep these essential factors in mind, you can be the one who controls the situation and gets your partner back to your side again.
If you have any question or suggestion, don’t hesitate to contact us or comment below.